You are quite possibly the most boss empress I've ever known. I read your words—a million brilliant synapses firing at once and somehow they land in text that informs, aches and induces fits of laughter all at once. Sweet hell, you've been through it this past month. I do wish I lived next door to be your Royal Badass advocate whenever you need but I'm no retired neurosurgeon so it sounds like you're in good hands. And I never thought I'd say it, but thank god for shag rugs.
I know right? Who knew a girly shag rug could make such a handy tourniquet? It's so bizarro MacGyver??? My whole apartment was like a crime scene from Dexter. I'm crazy grateful to my girlfriends, the GFM supporters, and ADA lawyers for helping me solve this one. I just need to cocoon for a bit... at least until I can eat solid food again (Jan). Last night I dreamt of chocolate chip pancakes with a side of fakin' bacon... Le sigh. Oh, and pickles... what I would not GIVE for a crunchy dill from Jacob's right now. 😂 The Universe SO has my number. (serious eye roll)
Oh Sweet Empress Alisa. How on earth do you come up with these great newsletters all while navigating the health care system and your own recovery, not to mention the pain meds? You are remarkable, even if you are stitched together with binding twine at the moment. And all hail your special girlfriend (or the Empress' Hand?) who was able to speak for you and speak Doctor. How handy! (pun intended). Every woman could use a friend like her. Sending healing vibes your way.
Well, first off... pain meds give you the wackiest dreams... so that's automatically funny. And second, every woman could use a whole troop of Selenas and they all have such gifts... Renee with her Formula 1-level city driving, Alisa with her Tech Bro savvy-smarts, and Cam is so funny and mildly criminal. I just wish the ER peeps hadn't taken every last bath towel. I mean, I know it was like a scene from Carrie, but isn't that what you know... gauze... is for and isn't this why they also invented Clorox (for bloody murder towels)? But long term, I worry about us ALL wearing down amid a system that offers so little in the way of a sustainable social safety net. We need to do better by midlife women who don't fit the typical nuclear/couple model. I want The Empress to do something about it. I don't know what yet. Gimme a minute? xo
Oh thanks--that means so much coming from you. I loved your book! I am wicked tired and think I might ultimately need to live/nap in a place with a greater social safety net. America is too exhausting if anything goes wrong... and things ALWAYS go wrong. You can pretty much count on it, lol.
Sending you BIG HEALING VIBES, and also a big dose of Helen Mirren, who is my personal Empress archetype, and who frequently reminds women to "say fuck off a lot more often!" Which, given everything you wrote in your recent Gotham Girl post, might be helpful going forward. In any case, I just took the survey and I think you should monetize The Empress however the fuck you need to.
Love Dame Helen... though Dame Emma tickles my funny fuck off as well. And yes, monetizing The Empress while wired as tight as a spring-loaded reptile trap... This is going to take some inventiveness on my part 😂
Oy! I cannot imagine having seizures on top of every other menopausal symptom. Sending g healing vibes your way. So glad you have soul sisters to advocate for you.
You are quite possibly the most boss empress I've ever known. I read your words—a million brilliant synapses firing at once and somehow they land in text that informs, aches and induces fits of laughter all at once. Sweet hell, you've been through it this past month. I do wish I lived next door to be your Royal Badass advocate whenever you need but I'm no retired neurosurgeon so it sounds like you're in good hands. And I never thought I'd say it, but thank god for shag rugs.
I know right? Who knew a girly shag rug could make such a handy tourniquet? It's so bizarro MacGyver??? My whole apartment was like a crime scene from Dexter. I'm crazy grateful to my girlfriends, the GFM supporters, and ADA lawyers for helping me solve this one. I just need to cocoon for a bit... at least until I can eat solid food again (Jan). Last night I dreamt of chocolate chip pancakes with a side of fakin' bacon... Le sigh. Oh, and pickles... what I would not GIVE for a crunchy dill from Jacob's right now. 😂 The Universe SO has my number. (serious eye roll)
Oh Sweet Empress Alisa. How on earth do you come up with these great newsletters all while navigating the health care system and your own recovery, not to mention the pain meds? You are remarkable, even if you are stitched together with binding twine at the moment. And all hail your special girlfriend (or the Empress' Hand?) who was able to speak for you and speak Doctor. How handy! (pun intended). Every woman could use a friend like her. Sending healing vibes your way.
Well, first off... pain meds give you the wackiest dreams... so that's automatically funny. And second, every woman could use a whole troop of Selenas and they all have such gifts... Renee with her Formula 1-level city driving, Alisa with her Tech Bro savvy-smarts, and Cam is so funny and mildly criminal. I just wish the ER peeps hadn't taken every last bath towel. I mean, I know it was like a scene from Carrie, but isn't that what you know... gauze... is for and isn't this why they also invented Clorox (for bloody murder towels)? But long term, I worry about us ALL wearing down amid a system that offers so little in the way of a sustainable social safety net. We need to do better by midlife women who don't fit the typical nuclear/couple model. I want The Empress to do something about it. I don't know what yet. Gimme a minute? xo
Jesus Christmas I’m so sorry. You write so beautifully about something absolutely bananas! I wish you the most healing (and income).
Oh thanks--that means so much coming from you. I loved your book! I am wicked tired and think I might ultimately need to live/nap in a place with a greater social safety net. America is too exhausting if anything goes wrong... and things ALWAYS go wrong. You can pretty much count on it, lol.
Thank you hon. ❤️🙏🏻❤️
Sending you BIG HEALING VIBES, and also a big dose of Helen Mirren, who is my personal Empress archetype, and who frequently reminds women to "say fuck off a lot more often!" Which, given everything you wrote in your recent Gotham Girl post, might be helpful going forward. In any case, I just took the survey and I think you should monetize The Empress however the fuck you need to.
Love Dame Helen... though Dame Emma tickles my funny fuck off as well. And yes, monetizing The Empress while wired as tight as a spring-loaded reptile trap... This is going to take some inventiveness on my part 😂
Oy! I cannot imagine having seizures on top of every other menopausal symptom. Sending g healing vibes your way. So glad you have soul sisters to advocate for you.