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What French Women Know About the Menoverse π«π·π₯π
(And why they'd probably never call it that... π)
Fellow Empresses,
Greetings from Covidlandia. Pardon my absence, you can read all about the ridiculousness here if you need a laugh.
This week, we do a long-promised deep dive into the things French women know about midlife and agingβ¦ because they DO seem to be especially good at it. And letβs face it, we all secretly long to be a little bit French, donβt we?
Case in point: Isabelle Huppert above. Who wouldnβt want to be some version of her? A woman with a gorgeous, largely unadulterated visage, one that speaks wisdom, affluence, intelligence, poise, passion, strength, and above all... she can still move it. Yes, she is one of the leading midlife public figures in France who continues to work as an actress, and who remains utterly self-possessed and independent.
So hereβs a brief (albeit totally reductive) rundown of what French women know when it comes to being a woman aging in the world. (I expect it will grow/shrink/change.)
They know aging is not just expectedβ¦ Itβs revered.
Do you remember this scene from Luc Bessonβs 1990 cult classic La Femme Nikita, the story of a raggedy street urchin turned beautiful, yet tortured, assassin for the French Secret Service?
In the film, Jeanne Moreau, a grand dame of French cinema, schools the still-relatively unknown actress playing a street junkie recruited to Franceβs clandestine services in all things femininityβits limitless power, its guile, its pleasure! Whatβs so compelling is Moreauβs very unadulterated presence on screen. She isnβt facelifted, injectibled, or tooth-whitened into oblivion. Itβs legit proof that age matters as she is revered among all the top agents and trainers. She is wise AF andΒ the French government knows it. Theyβre not looking to some 20-something TikTok influencer for a mere glow-upβtheyβre serious about things.
In a scene just prior, the steely Moreau surveys the mute, sullen Nikita, notebook in hand. As Moreau endeavors to coax the girl out from under years of drug abuse and PTSD, she studies her, fits her with a wig, and then just like a mother, she caresses Nikitaβs cheek as she gazes deeply into the mirror, and whispers, βSourire, sourire, sourire...β
Nikita tilts her head and tries with all her might to crack a glimmer of a smile through her grief. It is a hysterical scene. If you speak French, you can't help but remember that the word βsmileβ literally translates as sous + rire or βbelow-laughβ. Underneath it all... laugh, which is the true lesson of the scene.
Growing up in France, your grandmother gives you all the best skin care products left over from her life. Itβs a thing. Often, she lets you try them as a little girl and you learn what's good. From her secret serums, potions, and rose water spritzes to her signature scents and her mysterious pots of creams that may have been compounded by the pharmacist just for her. And so an appreciation for certain brands and practices is born from an early age; Caudalie, La Roche, Vichy, Bioderma, Avene, Occitane, Klorane, etc. (All available at French Pharmacy.)
They know to layer on the moisture.
Because what French women know is that creams, potions, serums, oils, and mists are everything. So, the goal is to layer on moisture in ways that work for your skin and in ways that protect it throughout the day. Hence, the vitamin C serums, the retinoids, the hyaluronic creams, the sunscreens, and all the misting throughout the day. There are so many more serums and creams in France and what you find out is that pharmacists know so much about them and that to become a pharmacist in France is not a yearlong pharmacy tech course that you can take by correspondence as it is in other countries. It's a nine-year endeavor in learning the art + science of compounding and the effects of every possible product and ingredientβbotanical, chemical, or otherwise on the planet. These are serious people, as Logan Roy would say. You could literally have a reality bake-off show all about compounding pharma and everyone would watch (but more on this when we talk HRT).
My favorite find from France latelyβ¦ Typology. Iβm all about the glowy, dewy sans acne effect and this seems to do the trick for now.


They know to skip the surgeons.
There is this marvelous scene in the Netflix series Call My Agent where the real-life actress Cecile de France comes running out of the plastic surgeonβs office, her entire face graffitied in Sharpie marker denoting all the incisions and procedures that the surgeon is planning to undertake on her already gorgeous midlife mug. As she hops on the Vespa with her agent and says, βGet me the fuck out of here,β this demonstrates what French women know: NOT to destroy their natural beauty with absurd requests from malignant narcissist Hollywood directors. Yes, if you're super inclined, fineβ¦ go for a subtle wrinkle jab here and there, but French women generally know not to mess with perfection.
They know about scarves.
Now, I love Nora Ephron, but she didnβt need to fret about her neck. She could have just called the French. They know a kajillion different ways to hide any number of sins with a scarf. There are whole tutorials. More on this in a subsequent post.
They know to eat real food.
They don't subsist on yucky bone broth or eat things like processed spray-on butter. They eat real butter (not whole statues of it like at a state fair) but actual butter and CARBS. They eat non-genetically modified tomatoes instead of pest-proof genetically grown ones. They stay away from overly processed foods, or pretend foods engineered in labs because taste matters most as it is part of the joy of being alive and what's the point of being alive if you cannot experience joy? Yes, they drink, but not to excess because that would compromise their poise. The French are not sloppyβunless they are Gerard Depardieu. And you never want to be Gerard Depardieu. (Not with that jawline.) Plus, they never snack (except for coffee, water, or the odd cigarette) because that would spoil the joy of lunch or dinner. And you canβt have that!
They know to walk bloody everywhere.
They walk to work. They walk to see friends in cafes. They walk to errands. They walk to pick up their kids from school. They walk to think deep thoughts. Theyβve been doing this whole NEAP thing forever... they just donβt put a clinical acronym on it to convince people that itβs good for them. Weβre quite ridiculous.
They recognize how men would be treated.
Much in line with the novelist Marion Keyes, they recognize thatβ¦
βIf men had the menopause they would be given 10 years off work, from the ages of 45 to 55, on full pay. And then once they had transitioned into the Great Wise Age there would be a massive party and they would beΒ revered. Instead, we are mocked.β
French women know this. As a result, they donβt ask permission about it. Theyβre not going to martyr themselves for it or suffer needlessly if they donβt have toβwhich is why even though Everything Everywhere All at Once is the most perfect allegory for perimenopause, they probably wouldnβt label it the βMenoverseβ.
If they simply can feel better and keep enjoying their femininity and sexuality, theyβre going to take HRT and not stress about whether itβs natural or some kind of character flaw if they canβt weather all the night sweats and brain fog. They know the importance of feeling good and that it goes well beyond the indignities of vaginal atrophy. Thereβs also a very different attitude toward the compounding of drugs in Franceβwhich is something weβre going to take a deeper dive into in the coming weeks as major pharmaceutical companies in the US tend to take a one-size-fits-all approach and women, being complex creatures, sometimes require a more bespoke approach. Bottom line, we need more rigorous study and investigation and weβre only just getting to it.
Ok, one more treat I want to leave you with from the menoverseβ¦ a book that will no doubt delight and is going to be part of our upcoming book club. KILLERS OF A CERTAIN AGE by Deanna Raybourn. Older women often feel invisible, but sometimes itβs their secret weapon. These women have spent their lives as the deadliest assassins in a clandestine international organization, but now that they've reached their sexy sixties, four women friends canβt just retire. Who can blame them, with so many white patriarchal doofuses traipsing about? Subscribe to join The Empress Book Club!
Ok, thatβs the skinny for this week. For now, keep laughing. And until next time, rememberβ¦ You are wise AF!
Yours in Grandeur,
*As an Amazon Associate, The Empress may earn from certain purchases, at no cost to you.
p.s. Again, I just want to say thank you to fellow Stacker
, who runs the most amazing midlife womenβs courses & community, for supporting the WISE AF campaign.
What French Women Know About the Menoverse π«π·π₯π
French Hollywood is the best-- Nikita and Call My Agent! Youβre speaking my binge language. Looking forward to your compound pharmacy post!
I BLOODY LOVE Nikita, and also the US remake with Bridget Fonda, Point of No Return. Anne Bancroft is the older woman in that one, and while the action of the scene between the two of them is similar, it lacks the deep French reverence for older women you called out in Nikita. Can't wait till compounding pharmacies are more common in the US. I think that Everything All At Once as a peri-metaphor is awesome and I'm going to use that!