✨How to regulate your nervous system during perimenopause✨
For when things get a little... wild! 🐺 😂
✨ A vibrant space for midlife women, The Empress now reaches over two million readers through our networks of networks. ✨ From bestselling author Alisa Kennedy Jones. ✨ If you enjoy content about midlife, humor, and agency, I’d love to welcome you as part of our community.
Fellow Empresses, How the hell are you?
Greetings from the GenX eldercare sandwich where, after raising your own children, you can find yourself still cooking dinner for a whole new/old family of five… only for them not to leave you any dessert. Yes, all boys. Never had a mother. Zero consideration. I AM Night Bitch. 😂 🐺! Or better yet the revenant—The Revenant!
Speaking of The Revenant, if you are in perimenopause, as I was a few years ago, you might find yourself drifting between two distinct poles;
“I’m so freakin’ tired between the night sweats, insomnia, anxiety, etc., I can’t get any SLEEP.” and…
“Oh, SHIT. I completely forgot that thing that I needed to KNOW/DO/SAY.
Two Poles… lethargy and panic. Your adrenal glands become exhauted.
Here are two basic somatic hacks for managing through both states shown by neuroscience to work in the moment.
Regulate Your Midlife Nervous System with Simple Breath Techniques
If you’ve used an iPhone, you know how state-based automation can simplify tasks:
If [bear] then [run]!
If Google news [X] then [send email].
You can apply a similar approach to manage your perimenopausal nervous system in real time with these breathing exercises:
For when you’re feeling lethargic/sleepy from night sweats or insomnia:
Sit up straight with your lower spine aligned and your chin slightly tucked.
Rapidly exhale through your nose at about two breaths per second, letting your belly pump with each exhale.
Continue for 30 exhales.
Exhale completely, hold until you feel mild breath-hunger, then inhale deeply and hold for 20-30 seconds.
Exhale completely again and stay still for 30 seconds.
Repeat 2-3 times as needed and observe the shift in your energy.
For when you’re anxious or overwhelmed:
Sit comfortably with a straight lower spine.
Use your right hand: close your left nostril with your ring finger and your right nostril with your thumb.
Close your right nostril and inhale through the left for a count of 3. Hold for 3 seconds.
Exhale through the right nostril for a count of 6.
Inhale through the right for 3 seconds, hold for 3, and exhale through the left for 6.
If needed, start with shorter counts (2 in, 2 hold, 4 out) and gradually extend to longer counts (up to 10 in, 20 out).
Repeat for 3-5 rounds or until you feel calm. Finish with a deep inhale and an audible sigh to enhance relaxation.
Shifting States
Chances are you’ve done these both before, but you may be forgetting them right when you need them most. Breathwork is a powerful tool for quickly shifting your state, endocrine system, and blood chemistry. I’ve seen how these simple practices can help midlife women manage stress, from calming pre-meeting anxiety to resetting your day after a serious bout of brain fog or sleepless night.
Next time you feel overwhelmed or caught in a negative exhaustion loop, remember to prioritize your state over your story. Find a quiet spot, try one of the above, and notice the positive change.
An oldie, but a goodie to remind you:
For the latest hilarious installment of gotham girl—where we have a shocking reappearance of our bear Gwyneth, do head on over to…
When Gwyneth Attacks!
Yours in Grandeur & Deep Sh*t,
ps - I am a human typo. Amnesty appreciated.
*The information contained in this post is intended for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any illness. Before using any practices or products referenced in this piece or others, always consult your healthcare providers, read all labels, and heed all cautions that come with the products. Information received from this piece, or anywhere in this Substack, should never be used in place of a consultation or advice from a healthcare provider. If you suspect you have any adverse conditions, please consult your healthcare providers immediately. This Substack, including Alisa Jones and any other writers or editors, disclaims any responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of any information contained herein. Opinions of any writers in this Substack are their own, and the Substack does not accept responsibility for statements made by writers. This Substack does not make any representations or warranties about a writer’s qualifications or credibility.
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Thanks for the reminder to breathe!!!!!
Breathing is so simple yet so hard to remember to do consciously! It's easily one of the best tools we have for managing perimenopause, anxiety and stress, and life in general.