Dew As I Do✨Some Highly Bearable Brightness of Being✨Courtesy of Stripes
Plus, an ode to our truth-teller warrior women. May we do better by them.
Fellow Empresses,
How the hell are you? It’s been a tough week…
We're going to talk about Dew As I Do by Stripes, (and total apologies to the Stripes folks for all the branding font fails above 😂) but FIRST we can't start this dispatch without a word about Sinéad and what she meant to us as a truth-teller, as an artist, and as a midlife woman’s icon.
Amid the ‘vulnerability’ industrial complex, it’s hard not to notice that something is happening here, something that takes the glorious, necessary vulnerability of truth-tellers and grinds it into units of consumption. Sinéad was eons ahead of her time. She walked so that Phoebe Bridgers could run. As my dearest Amanda Palmer put it so distinctly earlier this week, “Sinéad. The world loved the taste of her. The world didn’t know how to digest her. The world spit her out.”
Hanif Abdurraquib wrote on Instagram that she was the “victim of society’s gleeful, never-ending obsession with prolonged punishment. With punishment as spectacle.”
I read a few obituaries the other morning, and in so many of them, the condescension was undeniable. There was a subtle scorn of her conversion to Islam; writing in The Times, Will Hodgkinson referred to her as “damaged”, “strong-willed”, and “impetuous”, the holy triumvirate of language often reserved for outspoken, unruly women. And I began to question the entire journalistic endeavor of interviewing a person for a few hours and then penning something that casts judgment on their entire life, their very soul. In a quote in the same obituary, Sinéad had many incisive things to say about this:
“I didn’t like sitting in a hotel room in Amsterdam like a hooker, spilling my soul to ten journalists in a row… Then somebody, somewhere, is annoyed at something you said - friends, family, strangers. That was a bit weird. And the whole being crazy thing was a bit weird too. In America, it felt like they were trying to silence me by making out that I was crazy—before I ever really was crazy.”
She was 25 then. I am 53 now and find myself in similar moments. Just the other day, a person I am on a board with said, “You know, you're never going to have a real job again if you keep on with this Empress stuff. It makes you appear jaded (man-speak for ‘old and crazy’). People (again, people, meaning men) won't understand.” To him, I say, thanks, but maybe have a listen here?
And have a look at our branding (which we happily share with hotflash inc. as it’s inspired by our collab. and too true not to embrace.)
Still, women struggling with depression, anxiety, or peri/menopause are often branded unacceptable people... and their own narrative is taken from them by a stranger who may mock, belittle, tragedize, and probe for juicier details than have been voluntarily revealed and then the narrative they’re fed back is that they’ll never be happy...
When, in Sinéad’s case, what we actually had was a brave woman speaking truth to power, who was then institutionally canceled and gaslit on so many levels, by so many people from Lorne Michaels to NBC to record executives, to Frank Sinatra... and when you’ve been told to go away so much, for so long, sometimes… you finally do, permanently. We have far too many women in midlife choosing this same thing. Sinéad was a GenX hero, mistreated by so many who now praise her.
“What happened to Sinead is just another example of what the world does to powerful women,” said Shirley Manson of Garbage. Sinéad is owed a profound apology. She was brave when it mattered and she taught many of us how to channel pain and rage into the sacred, into high art, but then her artistic range and abilities were also such that she could not only reinvent a Prince song, but she could also bring a rare Irish ballad to life in a way that was deeply haunting…
For another great remembrance, listen to Gabe Hudson’s phenomenal podcast as well. It will make you tremble.
So, what’s the call to action here? Value the truth-tellers, and know that there’s no Tracy Flick-style lesson plan in how to be a public one. You might get canceled or be completely overwhelmed at times. And call your girlfriends. Access to affordable mental healthcare is more important than ever at midlife. But it’s still no replacement for us being there for each other.
Now, on to the glowy goodness that is Stripes Dew As I Do...
Let me start by saying I have the worst skin EVER. I break out at the drop of a hat. Anytime I try to moisturize or do anything fancy like, god forbid… a facial… I end up with three weeks of cystic acne. It's just impossible. Even sunscreen makes me break out. I have the skin of an eternal teenager. So, what’s an Empress to do about acne and wrinkles and a positively dull complexion? Well, I have had some luck with pure vitamin C serums. The only issue with them has been texture and absorption. They leave a crusty film and so wearing them under makeup doesn't work.
This is not the case with Dew As I Do. It's completely scent-free. The texture is super-duper smooth. You only need one to two pumps, and it completely absorbs into the skin so that you can wear it under sunscreen or makeup if you need to. The important thing is that you won't have any weird residue like you might with the other serums. The best part, after a week of use, my skin is noticeably brighter, and I don't have a single zit. At $25, it’s completely reasonable price-wise. The zero-acne factor, plus the fact that it’s scent-free, makes it a winner hands-down for me. For this, Dew As I Do gets an exceptionally shouty Empress Huzzah!
Me pre vs. post-Dew. I’m wearing the same SPF 50 from IT Cosmetics in both shots.
So, that's the skinny on skin brightening. To become a member of The Hot Spot and connect with like-minded women, make sure to go here. And since it's been a tough week, I want to leave you with a little laughter. In case you haven't already seen Perimenopause Barbie, she's spot on. I’d say she is in dire need of an Un-anger mocktail from WILE... if only she could drink liquids! 😂
Keep laughing. And until next time, remember… you are wise AF!
Yours in Grandeur,
*As an Amazon Associate, The Empress may earn from certain purchases, at no cost to you.
Lovely ode to empress Sinead. The unbearable weight of complex PTSD and losing her son-- she is with him now. In peace.
Oh, and you’re gorgeous with or without Dew.
Here's to truth-teller warrior women. May we reign (a tip of the hat to your new logo). I am getting a greater appreciation for Sinead O'Connor now. I was too busy and self-absorbed in life and raising kids when she was doing her thing. It really gives me pause. The feeling of not wanting to be here when you're not appreciated or understood. Ouch. That's too relatable.
I'm sorry you have had a tough week. Thinking of you and hoping for better days ahead. Also, you look beautiful in both pictures - dew or no!