What Makes You Feel Wise AF?

On curiosity as the cousin of anxiety, the fallacy of 'arrival', and how you could start a whole movement with a charming, yet zesty, tank top!

This week's newsletter is brought to you by our friends at Winona, doctor-prescribed menopause care for women, backed by science, and shipped directly to your door.

Fellow Empresses,

Do you get the Sunday Scaries?

I know I do. They are especially prevalent in midlife. But did you also know that anxiety is the cousin of curiosity? And that when you get them together, they're like two 10-year-olds out on bikes. Left to their own devices, they can get crazy-creative like in that movie The Goonies and they can come up with a whole cave full of treasure—literally a trove of ideas for solving life’s sh*t. Ideas that are resourceful, funny, and show genuine resilience. Yes, I just compared your Sunday Scaries to The Goonies, a GenX classic that we should all savor and remember from now until eternity.

But it's part of the greater question we’re asking this week which is... What makes you feel wise AF?

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…Sometimes you might need to be that red telephone person for yourself, i.e., “Hello, me? It's me. Look, I need your help. No, I know you don’t have time, but I am in deep doo-doo here. No, don't tell me to call someone else. I need you! As my best friend, what would I advise me to do right now?”

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One of the things that’s helped me along the way to start feeling wise AF was realizing that these two things… anxiety and curiosity are related, and that my anxiety could be calmed by a bit of curiosity and some play, which ended up invariably turning into creativity that I hadn't quite bargained for, but there are also other things that make a person feel wise.

Sometimes what makes you feel like a grown-ass lady is your rich catalog of life experiences, of knowing that you have seen practically everything, which means there is very little that surprises you or causes you to go all Larry David when a crisis occurs, and so you are the quintessential red telephone person in your friends' lives.

But sometimes you might need to be that red telephone person for yourself, i.e., “Hello, me??? It's me! Look, I need your help. No, I know you don’t have time, but I am in deep doo-doo here. No, don't tell me to call someone else. I need you! As my best friend, what would I advise me to do right now? C’mon, you are the only one I can trust!”

Not everyone feels this way. For others, it may be a litany of failures. (I have. Heaps.) Self-doubt can be a real b*tch, especially during peri/menopause, so we wanted to give you some tools we stumbled on this week that were helpful.

The first is a conversation with Kim France, Jenn Romolini, and guest Kristen Lisanti on the Everything is Fine podcast. It is invaluable. There are so many great nuggets in this conversation you will want to listen twice. I know there are a lot of shenanigans in the coaching world these days, but what a truly great coach can do, like any sports coach, is see right past the crap, right below the surface, what is already in you, and bring it out so that you can make it actionable one degree at a time. Or the coach could be the kind who helps unf*ck your brain just one degree at a time. The point is it doesn't have to be a Big Bang change. It could be one small degree, then another, and then another until ultimately you've evolved into someone wholly changed. You'll definitely feel wiser for giving this one a listen.

Another thing we wanted to share with you is something amazing that I (Alisa) am really bad at and that is meditation! I know I always say no one’s ever going to meditate their way out of menopause, but it sure as hell doesn't hurt to check in with yourself and get curious about slowing down your brain. I know this because I am monkey mind central that's why I do a lot of my meditation while walking. The repetitive motion helps me to slow down my thinking and take me out of fight-or-flight mode, which then opens up space in the other part of my brain that's wired for non-linear creative problem-solving. To this end, we wanted to give you a mindfulness tool from our friends at Winona and so with that, here is a fantastic, guided meditation from our dearest friend and teacher, Angela, because sometimes it helps to practice stillness even when you are as wiggly as I am.

Now that you’re all blissed out… The last thing we wanted to share with you that makes us feel Wise AF is announcing it to the world! Hence, the new campaign we’re launching in collaboration with the award-winning journalist Ann Marie McQueen of hotflash inc. We worked on this across the globe and multiple time zones with the help of our friend, designer Astrid Schwarz, founder of Braver Trading, and we're so thrilled to kick off the WiseAF campaign to help I support the girls provide much-needed personal care kits to unhoused women in peri/menopause.

So… you can wear this WiseAF T-shirt to Trader Joe's, and I guarantee you, people will read your boobs and blurt out, "Oh my God, where did you get that?" And you will answer, “From these crazy ladies online who are trying to change the world for midlife women,” and everyone will go, “Holy moly, I want to feel that way too! I need one of those for myself and my girlfriends and, come to think of it, for everyone I know!” And suddenly, you will be part of a whole WiseAF movement that helps the most vulnerable women on the planet. Now, doesn't that sound cool and also like a total one-degree actionable remedy to the Sunday Scaries?

You know it is! 

That said, if you need to think on it a little more, we leave you with this track as it belongs on every playlist these days since the world is certifiably too much muchness.

Again, we will have more of THE EMPRESS in our upcoming series on vaginal & sexual well-being. There are some fabulous advances to discuss. Until then. Remember… you are wise AF!

Yours in Grandeur,

p.s. If you are so inclined, follow us on IG for flash content & upcoming giveaways. We’re at https://www.instagram.com/the.empress.age/ and we’d love to see you there!

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