✨What If Menopause Made You Powerful? On Midlife Magic & Rage✨Join us LIVE with Kirsten Miller, author of The Change!

Plus, How Midlife Women Are Healing the World! With Midlife Upgrade in Chi-Town!

✨ A vibrant space for midlife women, The Empress now reaches over two million readers through our networks of networks. ✨ From bestselling author Alisa Kennedy Jones. ✨ If you enjoy content about midlife, humor, and agency, I’d love to welcome you as part of our community. ✨ For only $50/year ($4.17 a month!) or $5/month, you’ll gain access to all my articles, Monday columns, book clubs, and virtual events.

---

Fellow Empresses, How the hell are you?

I’ve just returned from a whirlwind in Chicago—an event so good I’m still recovering my eyelashes. The brilliant

Julie Fedeli

and

Pamela DeRose

of Midlife Upgrade threw what can only be described as a full-body, goosebump-inducing summit of two hundred incandescent midlife women. It was part documentary screening (The M-Factor, featuring the luminous Tamsen Fadal, Audra McDonald, and Dr. Sharon Malone), part spiritual revival, part swag orgy!

But it was the next day—around the table—when the real magic happened. Picture a brainstorm crossed with a lightning storm: an electric tornado of ideas whirling through the room. These women were dreaming up ways to deliver world-class, culturally-attuned care to uninsured midlife women in healthcare deserts—via encrypted messages on their phones or menopause flash kits tucked into their purses like tiny, revolutionary Trojan horses.

Funded by strategic impact grants, these kits could be placed in libraries, shelters, and food banks, in partnership with grassroots groups like I Support the Girls. It was scalable. It was brilliant. And it was working. Because one provider for every 34,000 va-jay-jays certainly wasn’t going to.

And so I watched the silos fall. Eastern and Western medicine had a full-on meet-cute. Best practices were swapped like family recipes. Solo efforts became symphonies.

It was, in a word, remarkable.

All the magic midlifers… give me a second for credits. Ghaagh, we’re missing Avanti!

Then Reader, I cried as they stuffed my swag bag like it was the last chopper out of Saigon.

Which brings me to O’Hare Airport.

I’m in Group Nine Million, obviously, standing at the gate when the agent stops me with that overly cheerful voice reserved for flight delays and impending TSA cavity checks.

“We’re going to need to gate-check that. Any hazardous electronics inside?”

Well. About that.

Thanks to Julie and Pam, there was a very complicated vibrator in my bag. And I do mean complicated—it’s rechargeable, voice-activated, Bluetooth-enabled, and probably capable of ordering Thai food. Basically, it’s ChatGPT with a G-spot setting.

Said vibrator, in all its 5G glory!

Naturally, I panicked: Can midlife desires crash a plane?

Spoiler: they cannot. But I did spend most of the flight wondering whether the phrase “USB-enabled wand of joy” appears anywhere in Elon Musk’s new TSA manual.

But enough about airport erotica—let’s talk about next Wednesday night.

If you haven’t read The Change yet, it’s time. It’s fierce, it’s feminist, and it answers the question no one dared ask:

What if menopause made you powerful?

Three women.
Three newly awakened powers.
One very dark secret they are hellbent on exposing.

Join us for a wildly witchy conversation with author

Kirsten Miller

on Wednesday, April 23 at 7:30 PM CDT. Come with your questions, your cauldron, and your Cabernet. Even if you haven’t read the book, show up anyway—because this one? This one’s pure spellcraft for anyone navigating the heat, the hush-hush, and the hormonal havoc of midlife.

RSVP now and save your seat—before it vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Yours in Grandeur & Deep… Vibes,

---

p.s. If you are so inclined, follow us on IG for flash content & upcoming giveaways. We’re at @the.empress.age and we’d love to see you there!