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Sunday Journaling Prompt: What's something you would outsource to your therapist? πποΈβ¨
Ah, Succession Sundays... pithy banter, sibling bloodsport, Macbeth'ing it to the end! Nothing ever really happens, but what can it teach us about our ambition monsters?

Fellow Empresses, a little Sunday night thought exerciseβ¦
I often wish that I could pick out a pattern in my lifeβa problematic one that tends to create unnecessary drama or conflictβand remove it like a malfunctioning car part and have it worked on and then reinstalled.
For example, most recently, my βvalue chip βdefinitely needs an upgrade. It may sound trite. I have so much trouble asking for what Iβm worth in negotiations or ever feeling like Iβve done enough or am enough. Iβve always had this issue. So, I wish my therapist could implant a new chip that is the βAlisa is worthyβ chip. The one that says I am worthy of X deal, and total financial security so that I can stop worrying for once in my silly life and just enjoy sh*tβinstead of always sweating every damn outcome. And that would suddenly be my new worldview. I wouldnβt even think twice.
Huzzah⦠If only :)
I donβt think Iβm entirely alone in this. I was raised amongst a generation of βstriversβ βof GenX women who were taught that if we just worked hard enough and were smart enough (cue the Ambition Monster)β¦ We could have it βALL!β
Little did we know that βALL!β kind of sucked. And that there was so much systemic BS involved with βALL!β We ultimately ended up feeling like these burned-out A-student people-pleasers, who never had the sense that we were βenoughββwhen actuallyβ¦ We were plenty. We ARE plenty.
But people have all kinds of patterns or issues (or people) they wish they could outsource to their therapistβ¦ Whatβs yours? Is there one thing you can identify? A certain thread that cuts? A chip? How would you fix it? Is there some Kool-Aid you would need to un-drink?
It dovetails a bit with last weekβs question where I was asking about interfering in the lives of othersβnow weβre simply turning inward. Invaginating. And though it rarely it works that way, what if, for a brief moment, it did?
Yours in Grandeur and heavy sh*t,
Sunday Journaling Prompt: What's something you would outsource to your therapist? πποΈβ¨
Great chip idea. I would want an on/off chip. At night, I'd like to be able to turn off my brain so I can sleep.
I totally get the "Alisa is worthy" chip thing. For the past two years, that's what I've been working on myself. Understanding and KNOWING I am worthy. Not having to try to convince myself with daily mantras, but an inner knowing that is there. With the intensive therapy work I did this summer, I can actually say, it's embedded in there. The worthy chip is in! Wahooo.
Next up. I want to work on the kindness and generosity chip. And I don't mean the one that us Type A's do with work--ie giving everything we've got until we drop kind of striving to prove type giving, but the generosity and kindness of doing so with no agenda for anything in return. I'm writing about this at the moment as I experienced this from someone over a year ago. It made me realize I had NEVER experienced this kindness of generosity. I didn't really understand it. I want to unlearn my idea that it has to be transactional in some way and just learn to be with it. Both receiving and sending.