Special Unlocked Subscriber Bonus Post! The Mystery of Dame Helen Mirren's Hair!
Admit it... We all wanna know what shampoo she uses to get those freakin' pristine silver tresses. The Empress investigates!šµļøāāļø š§
Fellow Empresses,
How the hell are you?
Welcome to this extra-special bonus edition of The Empress that weāve brought out from behind the Subscriber Paywall becauseā¦ Well, itās just super fun.
I know weāve always said here that we cared more about how aging felt rather than how it lookedā¦ but I was talking with Kim Van Bruggen the other day about the bloody marvel of Helen Mirrenās silvery locksā¦ how they seemed the ultimate low-maintenance hair ideal. We were both likeā¦ What must she do to keep that gray that so f*cking fabulous? And so long? No frumpery for miles in any direction!
I decided to investigateā¦ cue the Nancy Drew theme music from the Pamela Sue Martin version of the late 70s.
Hereās what I found outā¦
Dame Helen cuts her own hair. Yep. She doesn't have the patience for the salon or the small talk. Whenever she needs a trim, she whips out the scissors and gives herself a snip to keep things healthy. No split ends for this Empress. Unless sheās got an event, she never heat treats. No blowouts, no straightening irons. Air dry all the way. The rest is surprisingly Dame-like but in the most old-school, non-demonstrative way.
Step One: Treat the bitsā¦
She uses castor oil on her hair and cuticles. Full of moisturizing fatty acids, pure castor oil is a natural treatment for dry brittle hair, dry scalps, and dandruff. Its ability to prevent brittle breakage promotes growth for longer locks and fewer flyaways. And for those who overplucked in the 90s, itās also used to restore eyebrows.
Step Two: The twice-weekly shampoo & condition
Dame Helen is a Kiehlās fanāfor the fact that itās so gentle. Kiehl's Olive Fruit Oil shampoo contains (of course) olive fruit oil, avocado oil, and lemon extract, to hydrate, lock in moisture, and promote shine. The conditioner is a lightweight, easy-rinse formula that also promotes shine and weightless silkiness. It's a very Goldilocks choice if we do say so ourselves.
Step Three: The weekly silveringā¦
This last part is the most nostalgic for me. This is not about the ultra-spendy purple shampoos so on trend right now. This is about the super old-school versionāthe grandmere of them all. Clairol Shimmer Lights literally smells like walking into your motherās late 1960s beauty salon with everyone dishing the pettiest, up-to-the-minute townie gossip. Itās truly an olfactory time-travel experience that will stain your white waffle shower curtainsāso be forewarned! But more than that, itās what she uses and I tried itā¦ and holy hell, it worked. My brass was banished and my silver streaksā¦ way less wiry and witchy. Who knew?
So, the mystery is solved. Thatās how she does it, proving once again our theory that the wealthiest folks also tend to be the thriftiest. Itās Kiehlās not Kerastaseā¦ as one might have assumed. And itās Clairol, not Olaplex.
But, this was just a bonus post, so stay tuned for our next dispatch where we explore the very important issue of HRT research conflation and review some of the most recent findings out of the most comprehensive studies to date! I promise to make it fun(ny).
One other quick, but important note before I goā¦ Many thanks to Margie Zable Fisher for her generous shoutout of The Empress in Fortune this week!
It's funny. I actually attended my mom's own perimenopause party back when I was 18... Gaaaaaagh!! It was super meaningful and filled with stories, tarot readings, and wine. She had amazing, forthright, feminist friendsāone who'd come all the way from Africa to CA to celebrate her. It wasn't trivial, she was truly changing and owning it. For my own part, having an Empress Age night seemed a no-brainer, but I really saw it as a right of passage to say, "Huzzah! I'm not going quietly, and yes, here's what's working for me... hereās whatās NOT," since this full-scale, everything-everywhere-all-at-once, cellular transformation truly IS a heroine's journey. š„
Until next time, rememberā¦ You are wise AF! And huzzah to going gray all the way!
Yours in Grandeur,
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I've been cutting my own hair for well over a decade, never use heat or "product" and just condition all the time. Always thought it meant I was just lazy about my hair. Totally a new reframe :)
That pic of the Dame! That cannot be her real hair. I was a fan of Ms Mirren before this post now Iām hooked. I need to try castor oil although my brows were so hopeless I resorted to micro blading.