✨Favorite Therapy Hacks For Midlife✨

Courtesy of TikTok's Therapy Bern (with a cameo by Mel Robbins) 👑

✨ A vibrant space for midlife women, The Empress now reaches over two million readers through our networks of networks. ✨ From bestselling author Alisa Kennedy Jones. ✨ If you enjoy content about midlife, humor, and agency, I’d love to welcome you as part of our community. ✨ For only $50/year ($4.17 a month!) or $5/month, you’ll gain access to all my articles, Monday columns, book clubs, and virtual events.

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You gotta feel it to heal it!

Fellow Empresses, How the hell are you?

Menopause is having such a moment. So many solid connections emerged from the recent NAMS meeting in Chicago. There are all kinds of new books coming out next year from... Tamsen Fadal’s How to Menopause to Naomi Watts’ Dare I Say It? to Mona Eltahawy’s anthology Bloody Hell: Adventures in Menopause to Kirsten Miller’s next powerful installment of The Change. There are also some stellar events coming up next month, including:

And let’s not forget the upcoming PBS documentary The M Factor:

At The Empress, we’re all about ideas, tools, and resources for thriving in this highly generative phase—the Empress Age—that powerful, liminal phase between the exhaustion of Jung’s mother phase and the passive isolation of his crone phase. We think Jung missed a step and there’s vital main character energy to bring to midlife.

One of those resources became clear last year when she went viral for her very pragmatic TikToks. Therapist Bernadette Purcell’s no-nonsense tips resonated with me as I struggled with many of the invisibility and anxiety issues that plague women in midlife and menopause. Some of them are simply good reminders.

On How to Handle Sh*t

@therapybernFive psychology tricks from a licensed therapist for making life go your way #therapistsoftiktok #therapy #fyp #personalgrowth #mentalhealth

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I particularly love numbers one and five here. I’ve used number one constantly with people who usually end up explaining that they are so stressed out and they never meant what they said and it deescalates the whole scenario. Number five I’ve used a million times before I go into really scary meetings. Last year, my building wanted to convert my apartment to an executive suite and I would use it every time they would send process servers. I would repeat “I’m totally comfortable with this. I‘m just like Diane Lockhart on The Good Fight. I’m totally comfortable with this. I’m a grown-ass lady who’s been served a thousand times (not really). It’s just a lot of paper. I can serve them right back. I’m totally comfortable with this.” And believe it or not, it actually worked to calm my nervous system.

On Anxiety

@therapybernReplying to @jc_in_wi How to have radical acceptance and mindfulness practices for your anxiety. ##therapy##personalgrowth##therapistsoftiktok##anxiety##mindfulness##radicalacceptance

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When perimenopause hit at age 39, I not only experienced torrential night sweats, but I also had my first seizures as a result of my hormones shifting. Radical acceptance and the words “I’m just going to go with this…” have been a godsend for improvising my way through different med trials and various surgeries that could have left me so riddled with anxiety that I might have never left the house.

On How to Know if You’re On the Right Path

@therapybernHow do you know if you’re on the right path? #therapy #therapytips

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Again, process over reward is a theme here but also… I find if I put my trust in what makes me feel most alive and generative, and let that guide me to what’s next—then I’m on the right path. I’ve used this strategy before when I’ve felt at a crossroads and it’s always worked. It’s only when I try to shoehorn a destiny that I get into trouble. :)

On Intuition

@therapybern#duet with @Mel Robbins #melrobbinspodcast #intuition #therapy

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How great is Mell Robbins? Hone your intuition by using it every day in small, novel ways. Of course, you’re going to get better at it.

On Creativity

@therapybernGive yourself time to become the person who creates. Don’t judge yourself for gaining inspiration on life, love, and relationships. ##therapytips##therapistsoftiktok##therapy##relationship##communication##psychology##relationships##creative##creativity##muse

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This is beyond true. Art doesn’t always happen at the desk. Give yourself space to be out in the world to notice things that aren’t your work. I do my best writing when I’m traipsing around the Central Park Reservoir or Huntington Park. I mutter it into my phone and it makes its way into a book or script later.

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ICYMI, part 2 of my new rom-com series can be found here:

Part 1 can be found here.

Yours in Grandeur & Deep Sh*t,

ps - I am a human typo. Amnesty appreciated.

*The information contained in this post is intended for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any illness. Before using any practices or products referenced in this piece or others, always consult your healthcare providers, read all labels, and heed all cautions that come with the products. Information received from this piece, or anywhere in this Substack, should never be used in place of a consultation or advice from a healthcare provider. If you suspect you have any adverse conditions, please consult your healthcare providers immediately. This Substack, including Alisa Jones and any other writers or editors, disclaims any responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of any information contained herein. Opinions of any writers in this Substack are their own, and the Substack does not accept responsibility for statements made by writers. This Substack does not make any representations or warranties about a writer’s qualifications or credibility. 

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